Hot and Cold…

The dog days of August are of course the very best days to knit up a winter hood…

Snowflake hood
A blue angora hood with little embroidered snowflakes…

I think all the extra winter knitting is just for comfort. When things get a bit stressed out with my work at the Jade Mines, I knit to redirect my mind to a cosy world full of colors and textures. Though there are days that have compensations. Like the conversation I had with someone over the phone the other day…

Caller:(Incoherent muttering)
Me: “Hello? You’ve reached the Mines of Glorious Jade. What can I do for you?”
Caller: “I wanna, like sign up for the Cordon Bleu classes. I saw your add on tv! Like, I’m good at cooking and I wanna do the Cordon Blue.”
Me: “I’m afraid that’s a different institution–we don’t offer cooking classes. This is a museum.”
Caller:”Well, howabout animation? You, know, (slurs) animation?I’m really interested in your Cordon Bleu classes, but I wanna be an animator too.”
Me. “I’m sorry, we don’t offer anything like that. We’re a museum.
Caller:”Whaaaat? Museum?”
Me:”Yes, that’s right. Museum.”
Caller: “Like, when are you open? I have a 2 year old and he really likes art!” (background yodels of small shrieking child)
Me:*silent facepalm* We’re not open today.
Caller. “Oh. Okay. Bye!!”

It was still not as funny as the guy who wanted to come and hold one of our samurai swords, just because reasons. The world is full of people who have, shall we say, interesting demands…

Knitting mercenary…

Squidling!

Usually summer is my downtime for knitting for other people. I usually don’t get the panicked notes about lost hats and single mittens from people until at least late September. But this summer? Seems a little different…

One reason is we have a series of changes at the Jade Mines, where I work. New branding, new logos, new furniture, and new uniforms for us doorshakers. Instead of our Matrix-y Mr. Smith outfit we normally wear, we will have a softer look in khakis, a denim shirt and a black cardigan. The cardigan–made of scratchy acrylic yarn I wouldn’t have bought on a bet–has teeny, tiny little pockets that are totally unsuitable for our Guardy McGuard needs. So I’m already getting requests to sneak in new pockets on the insides, to accommodate the things we need to carry. I was going to do it for my own, anyway, but I have a feeling I will be a very busy little thing on my breaks, stitching in new pieces that won’t be too obvious. It’s for Great Justice, my friends…

Also, a while back I made a few gutmonsters for friends, and here and there people ask for a few more fun, tentacled monstrosities they can take home and cuddle. It’s the baby Squidlings that seem to catch people’s eyes. I just love how much fun they are for me to knit, cackling away on the couch and deciding how many tentacles to add. Hehhehheh…

Squidling!
A little squidling, ready to be squished and cooed at. Juuuuust don’t let it get too close to your face…

Tarot of the Yarns…

Knitting Tarot Spread

There’s been quite the dust storm kicked up on Etsy recently, concerning purveyors of magical supplies and readings and such. While I’m very glad to see the obvious fakes and predators kicked off the site, sadly some of my friends have also gotten their items booted off–candles and herbs and such; actual items used for religious purposes instead of the amusingly priced “Call a Sexy Vampire” rings and necklaces. And mainstream religious items seem to be selling just fine. It’s more than a bit confusing for everybody involved, I think…

And how does that have anything to do with me? I’m glad you asked. I’ve always loved Tarot decks and readings, and have been collecting them for years. A while back for last Halloween I ran in my shop among the woolens and yarns a Tarot reading for knitters. For the princely sum of 3 dollars, I would do a three-card spread about a knitting project someone had problems with and give them helpful advice. I labeled it as Entertainment Only, but added the caveat that any reading I did would also be bolstered with solid knitting advice.

Knitting Tarot Spread
A Knitting Tarot Spread…3 cards to help the knitterly-challenged.

People seemed to like it a lot, but alas, I had no takers. I took it down right before the new changes took effect. Would Etsy have kicked it to the curb? I’m really not sure. Very probably, even with the amusing premise. Ah well. I suspect my time is better spent with the spinning wheel…